Well Said

Rec'd on Friday:

"While I am out of the office, the following people should be contacted if necessary during my absence. Keep in mind, that not all questions will be able to be answered instantaneously, and additional resources might be required."

Makes Me Cry Different Kinds of Tears

My previous link to the Onion, some recent history, Thanksgiving, and the dawning future make now a good time to reminisce about bad times and the humor they inspire:

From the Department of Wishful Thinking:
Bush Finds Error In Fermilab Calculations
Bush Regales Dinner Guests With Impromptu Oratory On Virgil's Minor Works

From the Department of Barely False:
Bush Cuts Off Diplomatic Relations With Congress

From the Department of Deeper Truth:
President Bush Urges Nation

and this vid:

Bush Tours America To Survey Damage Caused By His Disastrous Presidency

Or just browse the archive yourself.

Advil Release

Spot on from The Onion:

New Pain-Inducing Advil Created For People Who Just Want To Feel Something, Anything

The primary axiom of Infinite Jest!

Housewarming

It's cold in Boston, but our apartment is cleaner today than it's ever been, making Friday or Saturday high time (ha) for the housewarming party. This is the advance invitation for our closest friends—who the hell else reads this? Keep your channels open for nailed-down details tomorrowish.

Here's a little preview to trick you into coming:

New York/er

Nobody's posted in a while, so I'll take this moment to say this week's New Yorker cover is gorgeous, and I'm going to NYC for the weekend. Holler if you're up and around.

I wonder who plays Bowser...

And old favorite updated with a new favorite: Super Obama World. SNES, anyone?

Gametime

I'm at the NH Obama HQ coordinating rides to the polls. We were here until 2 last night, got back in at 5 this morning; but despite only 2.5 hrs of sleep, only 2 cups of coffee, and only approximately a keyhole of daylight coming into the room, I'm stoked for the next 12 hours. Call me if you need a ride to the polls! Chatlos did.

We got a call from a guy registered to vote in NH but living in Boston who forgot to get an absentee ballot and needed a ride to the polls. We checked the ride out-of-state volunteer ride database from Boston and Chatlos' name popped up first, because he's scheduled to volunteer today. "Sweet," thought Jack, "I can send this guy up here with someone I actually know!" He called the guy back to pass the message, and when he hit send the phone recognized the number as "John Chatlos."

"Were you too embarrassed to tell me you forgot to vote?"

"Umm... yes."

Surreptitiousness fail!

Quote of the Day

"You don't need to boo, you just need to vote."

- Obama at a campaign rally in Sarasota, FL as the crowd booed at the first mention of John McCain.

Undecided?

As Election Day approaches, there continues to be discussion about undecided voters. In a piece from last week's New Yorker, David Sedaris asks the question many of us have been asking: how can one be undecided in this election?

To put them in perspective, I think of being on an airplane. The flight attendant comes down the aisle with her food cart and, eventually, parks it beside my seat. “Can I interest you in the chicken?” she asks. “Or would you prefer the platter of shit with bits of broken glass in it?”

To be undecided in this election is to pause for a moment and then ask how the chicken is cooked.

That's definitely funny, and a big part of me agrees. But perhaps it's also a bit harsh. A recent op-ed in the NY Times adopts a different perspective by articulating the undecided voter phenomenon as a reflection of the neuroscience and psychology of decision-making. It argues that many such voters have actually made a choice that has not yet gained enough confidence to reach the threshold of consciousness.

This might seem to rescue undecided voters from the accusation that they are out-of-touch or foolish. But I must admit, it remains puzzling to me how these "implicit choices" that ultimately mature into votes could be without intensity, force, or passion for so long when there is so much at stake.

Voted: Yes

I just filled out my absentee ballot—feels really good. Now go get this feeling yourself!

Mass voters: note Question 2.

Planet Earth cinematographer:

"Nobody should have to live one month in poo."

News, yes--but paper?

The Christian Science Monitor just went totally web-based.  Maybe their new slogan could play subtly off the New York Times': "All the News That Would Be Fit to Print, Except We're So Over That Tired Business Model, Web N3wzP@p3r FTW!!!11"

23/6: Some of the News, Most of the Time

23/6 has done some really funny coverage of the debates using video editing, including their latest video "Synchronized Presidential Debating"

Get the latest news satire and funny videos at 236.com.

If you haven't seen their earlier videos, they're definitely worth watching:

First Presidential Debate in a Minute
Second Presidential Debate in a Minute
Third Presidential Debate in a Minute
VP Debate in a Minute

T Minus 7 Days

Via Andrew Sullivan: Obama at his most electrifying. Compare to any five minutes of McCain

Of Mice and Memory

There is a lot of interesting work being done on manipulating memory processes in mice. This article recounts effective attempts at restoring memory function in mice with Alzheimer's by increasing the activity of the enzyme Uch-L1.

Research is also being done on mice with the opposite goal in mind: the erasure of uncomfortable memories. Check it out.

Advances in Printing

First of all, props to Johannes Gutenberg, inventor of the mechanical printing press and namesake of an awesome website. A more recent advancement in printing technology is 3-d printing, which is especially interesting because printers are themselves 3-dimensional. Lo and behold: this past May a 3-d printer replicated itself. From RepRap.org: 

"Not counting nuts and bolts RepRap can make 60% of its parts; the other parts are designed to be cheaply available everywhere. This is an interesting coincidence: we can make 60% of our proteins; the other parts are evolved to be cheaply available everywhere..."

The next version of RepRap will be able to manufacture its own electric circuitry. The Mary Shelleys out there are already picturing a world overrun with Erector sets gone bad; having grown up with a deep knowledge of how easily LEGO robots break, I'm quite optimistic that's a war humanity would win.

Bachmann's Creepy Non-Apology Apology

In an ad "apologizing" for the egregious interview posted earlier, Rep. Michelle Bachmann draws a stark distinction between government and freedom. This doesn't distance her from earlier comments linking left-wing views and anti-American sentiments; it further paints liberals as anti-freedom, anti-children, and as somehow working against the greatness of America.



"I may not always get my words right, but I know that my heart is right."

Obama-McCain Dance-Off

Enjoi

Promising News from FiveThirtyEight.com

After incorporating recent polling information, FiveThirtyEight.com is putting Obama's chances of victory at 96.3%:

FiveThirtyEight's composites of polling in battleground states:

Colorado: Obama +6.3
Florida: Obama +2.8*
Iowa: Obama +13.7
Indiana: Obama +1.6*
Missouri: Obama +1.7*
North Carolina: Obama +1.7*
Nevada: Obama +2*
Ohio: Obama +3.6*
Pennsylvania: Obama +10.7
Virginia: Obama +6.8

The Bad news: Asterisks mark states where Obama's lead (according to this composite) is within the margin of error.

The Good news: Even if McCain wins every single one of the asterisked states, he won't reach 270 unless he also wins Pennsylvania's 21 EVs.

Unusual and Cruel

Sarah Palin in a recent interview for People:

Alicia in New York City asks, Do you think about having more children?
SP: No-o-o-o. We got our starting five. That's the final five.

Alicia also wondered if you had any more unique names up your sleeve.
SP: We did. We never got to get our Zamboni in. I always wanted a son named Zamboni.

"Zamboni Palin." It has a nice ring to-oh wait no it doesn't. That's just horrible. Growing up is hard enough without being named after a brandname for a gargantuan machine that smooths ice. "Maybe it has another meaning," I thought. Nope.

Zam•bo•ni
trademark
a brand of machine that smooths the surface of the ice on a rink

As long as you're going for a brandname, why not choose something a little softer, like "Kleenex?"