Shit Burgers, Three Stooges Syndrome, Etc.

"Any change is as good as a vacation at this point. I don't know if you've paid much attention to the past eight years, but it has been a shit burger supreme. If somebody gives me an empty burger, it's better than eating shit."

-- Stephen Colbert, setting aside his conservative TV pundit character for an interview with Entertainment Weekly. (Emphasis added)

You know things are bad when Stephen Colbert is forced out of character, when he is driven to abandon irony in favor of "straight-talk." "Shit burger supreme" - a great metaphor worthy of reflection. Colbert is attempting to convey something essential about the past eight years, something which is arguably beyond any one metaphor, something inexpressibly shitty.

It seems we aren't able to wrap our minds around the insanity of the eight years W has been in the White House. Check out an incomplete list of scandals from W's administration. I've found that I actually can't be upset about all of this at once. And my sense is that it's not just me - the administration seems to have hit a critical point beyond which it's impossible for anyone - the press, the public, Congress - to fully grasp as a whole the absurdity of history's unfolding under W.

It's kind of like that episode of the Simpsons where Mr. Burns is diagnosed with absolutely every sickness known to man (plus a few):

Doctor: Mr. Burns, I'm afraid you are the sickest man in the United States. You have everything.
Mr. Burns: You mean I have pneumonia?
Doctor: Yes.
Mr. Burns: Juvenile diabetes?
Doctor: Yes.
Mr. Burns: Hysterical pregnancy?
Doctor: Uh, a little bit, yes. You also have several diseases that have just been discovered - in you.
Mr. Burns: I see. You sure you haven't just made thousands of mistakes?
Doctor: Uh, no, no, I'm afraid not.
Mr. Burns: This sounds like bad news.
Doctor: Well, you'd think so, but all of your diseases are in perfect balance. Here's the door to your body, see?
[bring up some small fuzz balls with goofy faces and limbs from under the desk]
Doctor: And these are oversized novelty germs.
[points to a different one up as he names each disease]
Doctor: That's influenza, that's bronchitis,
[holds up one]
Doctor: and this cute little cuddle-bug is pancreatic cancer. Here's what happens when they all try to get through the door at once.
[tries to cram a bunch through the model door. The "germs" get stuck]
Doctor: [Stooge-like] Woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo. Move it, chowderhead.
[normal voice]
Doctor: We call it, "Three Stooges Syndrome".
Mr. Burns: So what you're saying is, I'm indestructible.
Doctor: Oh, no, no, in fact, even slight breeze could...
Mr. Burns: Indestructible...

Something like the "Three Stooges Syndrome" seems to be going on in how I take in politics - all of the scandals of the previous administration can't actually get through the threshold of my political consciousness at once. There's simply too much to be upset about. Another scandal. Another set of headlines about something which should make me outraged. "US Attorney Firings?" "CIA Leak?" "The VP Shot a Man in the Face?" The never-ending flow of "shit burger supremes" might very well have resulted in the opposite of what we'd expect - instead of pissing us off more and more, the sheer volume and frequency of outrageous events led us into a leveled off, pseudo-anesthetized state. Over time we've become relatively unaffected by what should be cause for complete outrage. The greatest disappointment of the last eight years isn't that shit burgers have kept coming our way - it's that we've been willing to stomach them again and again.

It's so easy to be cynical, to believe that we're doomed to despondency and that corruption will always remain in place, secured by tradition and the growing cynicism of the public. "Indestructible..." But - the good news is that Mr. Burns is wrong when he concludes that he's in the clear, that he's invincible. The balance between his ailments is a fragile state, one that's easily disrupted by the slightest change in conditions. I like to think our political malaise is similarly fragile, that it can be shattered in a brief historical moment when we catch a glimpse of the approach of something new.

(For another example of the Three Stooges Syndrome at work in a different context, see the Duke's post below about the unfolding saga of moving into our apartment. It's cognitively impossible to keep track of everything outrageous that's happened. To quote the Duke himself: "It's all too upsetting, and honestly I just don't have any stress to spare...")